


it's cold

by neondragons



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24985804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neondragons/pseuds/neondragons
Summary: “I thought you liked the rain, yeah?”“I hate the rain.” Tobi says. “But like I said, I like your eyes. They make looking at the rain and storms bearable for me.”
Relationships: Deidara/Tobi (Naruto), Deidara/Uchiha Obito
Comments: 11
Kudos: 165





	it's cold

**Author's Note:**

> Lately, I realize I've been using T/Obidei to practice my writing. Hm... ignore my typos and mistakes lmao.
> 
> Unbeta-ed.

“It’s always raining.”

Deidara looks up from the clay he’s molding, and finds Tobi staring outside the windows. Deidara doesn’t have to follow his sight to know what his partner sees— it’s always been the same dark sky and Amegakure’s view from the eighteenth floor of their base. It’s been like that since he first joined the Akatsuki three years ago, and it’s likely to continue for years onwards. 

He leans back on his arms. “It’s _Amegakure_. What did you expect, hm?”

Tobi’s shoulder jerk, as if he’s surprised by the reply. Or that he didn’t know he even spoke. That has been happening more and more, lately. The first time Tobi spoke to him without the childish intonation, Deidara had been wary. It had felt like he’d been doused in freezing water. It felt like he didn’t know his partner at all, and he didn’t like the doubt that crept in his mind every time Tobi opened his mouth. He liked the guards he subconsciously raised even less. 

Deidara hated the nights he laid awake while Tobi “slept” inches away from him. He’s heard stories of what Kakuzu did to all his previous partners before Hidan, what stopped Tobi from doing the same to Deidara?

“Interest,” Tobi had said, head cocked and swinging his legs on a tree branch, two months ago in Fire Country. “I know you are wary of me, Deidara, but trust my word that I mean you no harm. It’s the furthest thing I want.” 

And that’s that. 

One by one, Tobi reveals layers of himself that lies behind the mask that Deidara isn’t even aware existed. They had been close before, unbelievably and unexpectedly, but now, Tobi can barge in his room unannounced, sit on his bed and stare outside the window while Deidara perfects his sculptures on the floor. 

Tobi turns away from the windows to look at Deidara. “I wanted a place I could at least be dry for more than two seconds.”

Deidara snorts. “Tell that to Pein and Konan, hm.”

“I have,” says Tobi blandly. “How do you think the Akatsuki acquired hideouts outside of Ame? If it had been up to those two, we’d be stuck in this terrible, pretentious village all year with no other place to be.”

Even though he can’t see the face Tobi is making behind the mask, Deidara guesses his partner would be rolling his eyes. Actually, Deidara would rather not guess, nor think about the faces his partner is making. He was already curious of Tobi’s face before he knew there was more to the idiot than meets the naked eye, but finding out the idiot hides more than just a face under the mask leaves Deidara’s hand twitchy at his sides. 

_Who are you?_

_What more are you hiding? Show me._

The Akatsuki is supposed to be temporary. Deidara has sworn to himself he’ll get out if the chance presents itself. Prying the layers off of Tobi would be akin to digging his own grave. Deidara does _not_ want any lingering attachments to Akatsuki. 

He’s better off not knowing what Tobi looks like. That way, in the future, once Deidara is free of Akatsuki and Tobi is done with his mask, Deidara would not recognize him even if they pass each other on the street— or on the battlefield. 

He picks at his nails. “If you hate Ame so much, why not tell them to move the main headquarters away?” 

Instead of answering, Tobi pats the space in front of him, motioning Deidara. 

“No.” Deidara deadpans. 

He can’t see Tobi’s face, but he hears the smile regardless. “Humor me, Deidara.”

“I do.” Deidara complains, pushing off the ground. He climbs to his bed and settles himself between Tobi’s knees. “Clearly, I should do it less, hm. You better not get used to this, Tobi.”

His heart begins to speed up when arms wound around his waist and he feels the edge of Tobi’s mask dig on his shoulder. He had woken with Tobi’s arms heavy around him too many times for this reaction to be accounted for as surprise, but the novelty has yet to wear off. And it _will_ wear off, Deidara swears. He’ll make sure of it. 

He allows himself to lean on Tobi. The mouth on his hand starts nipping at the material of Tobi’s gloves when he rests a hand over his partner’s. 

“Pein and Konan are too fond of this place,” Tobi says, as if it amuses and disgusts him at the same time. “They want Ame to flourish and rise above the other villages. As if flowers can bloom where blood was shed. This place only succeeds in drowning sprouts that try to grow. It’s a miserable place, the back-alley of hidden villages. The dumpsite of this world’s rejects.”

“Harsh.”

“Reality often is.”

“You do know that Akatsuki is here and you just called us failures, right, hm?”

Tobi’s gloved fingers plays with the mouth on Deidara’s hand, tracing the seams and idly poking the tongue when it licks him. “Not you. There’s a better place for you, and it’s not here.”

Deidara grins. “Damn right.”

Outside, large droplets continue to rain down upon Ame. Lightning flashes, followed by a clap of thunder. It doesn’t look like it’s about to stop. It never does. 

Tobi’s body is warm against his own. The atmosphere makes Deidara lethargic. He feels boneless, lying on cool sheets within Tobi’s embrace, listening to the steady drum of rain. If he closes his eyes, sleep will take him for sure. 

He holds his breath to prevent a yawn from escaping. Then he nudges at Tobi’s ribs.

“Tobi, tell me more about Pein and Konan, hm.”

Almost groggily, Tobi replies. “What about them?”

Not willing himself to succumb to the same stupor, Deidara rolls his eyes. 

“Anything. What is the Akatsuki for? Why do they have facial piercings? Do you have facial piercings, hm? Tell me.” 

“Powerful as Pein and Konan may be, they can’t collect all the tailed-beasts on their own.”

“Why do they even need those beasts?”

“ _I_ need those beasts. Our interests just happened to align.”

There is a plan. Tobi has hinted multiple times, but Deidara doesn’t know if he wants to know or if Tobi even wants _him_ to know. They skirted around the topic more times than he can count. He can ask now. Maybe.

He licks his lips. “So what does Pein think the beasts are for, hm?”

Pause. Then, Tobi hums. “You’re curious tonight.” He lifts his head from Deidara’s shoulders. When he burrowed his face back, no hard edge of wood touches Deidara. Tobi removed his mask. “Pein wants the beasts as… _leverage_ on the other villages. He thinks he can achieve peace by asserting his dominance over them.”

“That’s stupid.” Deidara replies.

Tobi slots his face on the side of his neck, and hums. Deidara tries to suppress a shiver and fails. When Tobi speaks, warm gust of air touches his nape.

“Is it?”

Deidara scrambles to organize his thoughts, all while avoiding their reflection at the glass windows, distorted as it may be by the tiny rivers running down the surface. He stares below instead, at Ame’s streets, where few civilians trudge under the outpour with their raincoats and plain umbrellas. They look tiny. Like spiders scrambling to find shelter. 

“What Pein wants is oppression,” Deidara says, tracing Tobi’s gloved hand with a finger. “Who wants to live in a world like that, yeah? He’ll have a few months. A few years at most. Then people would rise against him.”

“Then they will die.”

“Then they will die _trying_ , hm.” Deidara corrects. He scoffs, watching the droplets slide down against his window like tiny snakes. “What the heck, I’ve been recruited to Akatsuki for that? Hey, Tobi. Is your plan like that, too?”

“No. Not really.” Something strange creeps into Tobi’s voice. He sounds strained. “I agree that Pein’s idea of peace is unlikely to hold for long. Free will is dangerous and fickle like that. It is the nature of people to be at odds with things that make them unhappy and unsafe. It’s why empires who abandon their people fall.”

A few months ago, having a philosophical conversation with Tobi would be impossible. Deidara had once thought his partner is incapable of holding a serious conversation. He was proven wrong. Until he was able to discuss deeper topics with Tobi, Deidara forgot how he missed the talking to someone on the same intellectual level. Sasori had been good for that, even if his opinions were _wrong_. Their talks often devolved into spats due to the difference of perspective, but it kept Deidara’s brain alive and away from rot. 

Tobi is appreciative of Deidara’s art, at least. Even when he used to be the cause of Deidara’s brain rot, and he still is, sometimes, Tobi still listened when Deidara spoke of art and never told him he is wrong. Tobi, essentially, is the perfect partner for Deidara. 

Except he has too many secrets. 

He imitates the staccato beat of rain on Tobi’s hand. 

With a casual tone, he asks, “What do _you_ think, then, hm? What do you want the tailed-beasts for, huh, Tobi?”

Silence engulfs them louder than the rain outside. 

Then Tobi presses a kiss on the crown of his head, and whispers. “I’ll tell you when I’ve decided.”

Deidara bites his tongue. He knocks his head against Tobi’s. “You’re this far in it and you haven’t got a plan, hm? Dumbass.”

Tobi’s arms around him tightens, and his voice is lighter when he replies, “I know.” He squeezes Deidara, amused. “As my partner, will you always tell me when I’m being an idiot?”

Thunder rolls from the distant sky and the downpour grows stronger. Deidara exhales the breath he doesn’t know he’s holding.

“That’s tough. You always do dumb stuff, Tobi.”

Tobi chuckles and Deidara can feel the smile pressed against his hair. “You got your work cut out for you, Deidara-senpai.”

 _Ask_ , a voice in Deidara’s head demands. _Ask him!_

Deidara chews on his lower lip, staring at the dark sky. Tobi slides his fingers between the gaps of Deidara’s and he feels the mouth on his hand nip at his partner’s palm excitedly. 

For a while, they lay quietly, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain. Even the draft in the room has turned chill, but locked in Tobi’s arms, Deidara barely feels cold. 

“Your eyes are the color of rain clouds.” Tobi says. “Did you know?”

Deidara blinks. “My eyes.” He repeats. His eyes narrow and he almost breaks his self-imposed rule and turns to squint at Tobi, but he stops himself. “That’s dumb, hm. Why would you compare my eyes to something so dreary, Tobi?” he grumbled.

“But I like it.” Tobi’s legs shift on his sides, locking him in, and Deidara bends his knees to accomodate, cursing at Tobi’s long limbs.

“The rain?”

Tobi snorts. “As if,” he says, “No. I meant your eyes.”

Deidara frowns at the army of water snakes dripping down the window pane. Tobi always takes his time to glance up the sky when it rains. 

“I thought you liked the rain, yeah?”

“I hate the rain.” Tobi says. “But like I said, I like your eyes. They make looking at the rain and storms bearable for me.”

Warmth rushes out of his chest to the rest of his body, like lava bursting out of a volcano. “What?!” He splutters, resisting the urge to turn around and shake Tobi. He glares at the wall. “That’s so—” He cuts himself off. He takes a deep breath, willing the heat away from his face. “Well! Your mask doesn’t make anything unbearable for me, hm! I got used to its ugliness so much, I can’t even eat oranges these days because I can almost hear it screaming _senpai!_ ” 

“That’s cute. You think of me every time you see the color?”

Deidara screeches an unholy sound. “I’m suffering, you idiot!”

Tobi ignores him. “I suppose you think of me often enough because your art always explodes in that color.”

Deidara scoffs. “You’re so full of it, hm. Comparing yourself to my art now, Tobi?” 

“Why?” Tobi squeezes him, and Deidara shivers when Tobi brings his lips near his ear. “Am I not important enough to you, senpai? That hurts.”

“I’m _not_ falling for that, hm.”

Tobi sighs. “Should have known.”

There’s a hint of something indecipherable that colors Tobi’s deep baritone. Deidara purses his lips. _He won’t be guilted into anything._ This is _Tobi_ , for fuck’s sake. The guy might as well be the true leader of Akatsuki. His secrets have secrets! He’s not allowed to feel hurt because Deidara won’t admit Tobi has become important to him!

Tobi’s sudden sullen mood becomes palpable. Deidara groans. “Stop making me say embarrassing stuff for the hell of it, hm!”

“So, I’m not important. Just embarrassing.” He feels Tobi nod. “That’s fine.”

“What?” Deidara blurts, wordlessly screaming in his head. “Are you serious— Tobi!”

“What.” Tobi echoes. 

“You’re so—” Deidara stops himself before Tobi can use anymore ammunition. He pats Tobi’s arm with his free hand, resigned. “I mean… hm. I guess you’re… important to me, too.” He trails off, voice fading and swallowed by the loud torrent outside. 

But Tobi asks, “Really?” 

Deidara flushes, kicking Tobi’s leg half-heartedly. “Sure, hm.”

“More important than your art?”

Lightning flashes. Deidara feels Tobi’s breath hitch against his back. 

Quietly, he asks. “How about me, Tobi? Am I important to you?”

“Yes,” Tobi replies without missing a beat. “More than you know.”

Deidara flexes his jaw. “More than your secrets, hm?”

A beat. Then, another. Tobi misses four beats of Deidara’s heart until he answers. 

“What a terrifying question.”

Deidara nods. “Exactly.”

There’s a question burning a path in his throat, but he swallows it, unwilling to break this strange stillness they found themselves stranded in. He wouldn’t ask for anything that compromises Tobi, just as Tobi lets him keep the illusion of detachment, even when their limbs are tangled with each other, and Deidara’s soul yearning for the closeness that not even proximity can resolve. 

Tobi has goals. He has _plans_ years in the making. 

Plans that didn’t include Deidara. 

Deidara cannot hand over his future in Tobi’s hands, not when it’s already full. Tobi has no space for Deidara in it, and that’s fine. Deidara can carve his own future. That was his plan, anyway. 

Before Akatsuki. Before Tobi. 

They are full of indecisions. Their relationship is one built on blocks haphazardly placed over the other. Their foundation is shaky. Everything is built not to last long. Everything will come crashing down. 

Unless they fix it. 

He can give Tobi the chance, at least. 

Deidara clears his throat. “Ask me again when you know what you want for sure, yeah? I’ll have an answer for you, then.”

The oppressive silence slowly drains away. 

“Is that a promise?”

Deidara nods, squeezing Tobi’s wrist. “Yes. Just don’t take too long, yeah? You know I’m impatient.”

Tobi chuckles and it chases away all the shadows in the room. “I know.” Tobi inhales sharply. “Shall we seal our promise with a kiss?”

The rain continues to pour outside.

Deidara closes his eyes, and turns his head to meet Tobi’s lips into a soft kiss. 

Since when has Deidara cared over things that does not last long? Everything beautiful has to come to an end. This, whatever this thing he and Tobi has, it’s beautiful in the most exquisite ways. Whether it comes to an end once Deidara opens his eyes, or tomorrow when he wakes up, it doesn’t matter.

He will have the memory of Tobi’s warm lips on his during this rainy evening carved behind his eyelids. 

The closest he’s ever gotten to seeing Tobi’s soul. The time when Deidara wonders for the first time if this is what love is like.

  
  


*

  
  


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*

Obito leaves Uchiha Sasuke to deal with the aftermath of Itachi’s ruination. If the brat’s mind breaks, it only makes Obito’s job of manipulating him easier. He ignores the trembling hands hidden under the flowing sleeves of his cloak.

Even seeing Uchiha Sasuke broken doesn’t do anything for the gaping hole Deidara left in Obito’s chest. 

It doesn’t give him any satisfaction. It doesn’t even feel like revenge. Uchiha Sasuke drove the most important man in Obito’s life to death, but even bestowing him the cruel truth cannot give Obito any absolution.

He steps out of the cave, glaring at the sky. 

“You never were the most patient person.”

Rage thrums just beneath his skin. 

He’s angry at Deidara. For not waiting, for not choosing him, for _dying._

He’s angry at himself. For being always, _always_ goddamn late to save the only person that ever mattered. 

Obito blinks. 

The skies are clear. 

He sighs. “It never stops raining, doesn’t it, Deidara?”


End file.
